textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
