I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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