I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize