ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
