oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
