Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
