and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Randomize