eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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