i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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