dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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