You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
