maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
