the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
