And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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