I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need a beard to bite.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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