You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
