Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I forgot how hot balto sounded
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do