he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
my poor anus
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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