The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
return my video game
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize