Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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