Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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