is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
