If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
