Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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