He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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