If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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