the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
