Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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