just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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