nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
