this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
