her facebook's as public as her vagina
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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