This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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