Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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