You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm both gender and math confused
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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