i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
