Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
