Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
