another moral hangover. fuck.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
