great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
