Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
