This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
