i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can I color on your dick again?
We have started to decorate penises.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
