You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
