Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
