This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize