she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
