i just wanna soil my oats bro
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
