Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
