I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
