He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
i think i just lost a toe
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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