Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it glows. i had to have it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
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she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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