arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
