I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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