You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are we still banned from the library?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.