im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
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Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.