What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
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And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night