i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize