My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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