I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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