I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
