I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
