Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize