I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
