Duck Duck Cougar?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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