I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
