I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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